1. |
Candle-Shaving Bastard
03:43
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I’ve been told what I deserve
I don’t know what is right
I don’t know what to do
All I have are my thoughts
Sitting alone on Christmas Eve
Half drunk feeling lost
In a place I can’t call my own home
No more
Soul sucking | forces | surround me |completely
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2. |
Memories
03:22
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Sleep the afternoon away in a target lot
Pick my watermelon case for me, I will agree
Find a book store in every city
Get a hot chocy with me; it’s on me
Warm yellow-orange lighting in the sunshine filled room
Always was the ideal place to be for me, you see
My body is running on auto pilot
I don’t know how to stop it, or even control it
Are these memories
I hold so fondly?
Are they memories
For just me?
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3. |
Internally, in Kansas
03:27
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No words for 20 miles
The air feels quiet
Corn to my right
An asshole revs past from the left
How do I make it known
We all mean the best to each other
If you get hurt then I’m sorry
We can’t let it cling to us
I’ve started feeling lost
Passing through one state to the next
Doesn’t feel any closer to home
I’m torn
Are things how I perceive?
Or do my insecurities plague me?
I want to confide
I don’t know how, not here
All I know
Is that the best comfort
Is you letting me lay my head
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4. |
June 5th // July 5th
03:09
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It breaks me up
To see you broken up
Wish I could always be
Comforting
Having two mouths
is a dangerous way
To live
And be friends
If only I
Could be stronger for you
I’m a coward
And I know it, too
No one deserves
To be lied to
Like the way
You have been used
And so the extreme fatigue hit while I was driving home / and the reflections came of why this may be from one night before
When your skin collided with mine and we embraced in a way that I have never felt before, / it felt special
And then the next day when I could feel the burden of your legs onto mine, / and that night when our hands were intertwined
After the fatigue fades we confess to one another, / but the miles are absolutely killing me
Sitting in a break room
Finger numb with pain
Not gonna die here
But maybe something worse
My veins are exposed
I knew when I was told
Not bleeding through
Wish I was here with you
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5. |
Angel on the Mantel
03:57
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The only time I don’t smoke
Is when I’m with you
When I’m alone, I feel alone
It’s the only way I cope
With the waves of loneliness
Friends help me forget, I love them
But sometimes it feels like no one gives a shit
And sometimes it feels like I just have no one
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6. |
Drone I
05:06
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7. |
Floral
03:47
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Have I run out of things to say?
Or has life just not happened yet?
The fear of staying this way
Reinforced by my high school dead end job
Nothing’s changed. Have I?
Do I identify with all these people?
Get me out of the middle of the road
Unless I stay there
A sad, sad, existence
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8. |
Elvis, the Boy
03:18
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Lately, uncertainty | has been my method of thinking
Today’s the last day | of my first real job
To be honest, who knows where I go from here?
Everything’s changing, I just want to feel the same
At least Elvis always has my back
Soft tufts of white fur, glancing with glassy green eyes
Spending the day in my bed
Home, heart, security all change in the blink of an eye
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9. |
Observations
02:38
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10. |
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Leap from rock to rock
Just stare into the mist
Let it take you
Sitting in the yard
One pass, I offer again
I’m glad I chose (here)
As we walk and hop a lot
Tiny tastes that mean a lot
Then stop and think you give a lot
I think of people a lot
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11. |
When is Whenever?
05:02
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I feel pathetic. So desperate / that I’ll reach at the mere sight of anything. / I’m motionless. Everything has faded. / There’s only 1 thing on my mind. I can’t stand it.
When is “whenever”? Can it be right now? / When is “whenever”? I wish it was right now
Wish I could put you at ease, help you breathe. / This is the longest night of my life. I’d sacrifice / anything I have to help. / When will I get the courage?
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12. |
Finale
03:18
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I’m burnt out
I’ll tell you that I’m hanging in there
And I am,
at least that’s what I tell myself
Ever since
I made that drive for the last time
I’m wearing thin
But for once I’m not scared of the future
I used to write
When you would make me feel special
But now I’m
Writing songs about improvement
I am getting better
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